And yet, I feel nervous, every time I look at you

OH YAY SCHOOL IS OVER FOR THE WEEK.

I found something to look forward to on Fridays, It has always been there, but I just didn't realize it.

Yup, Nasi Lemak Fridays! HAHA

So moving on, I'm pretty disgusted with myself, for how I've been treating Shivani for the past couple of days. And I didn't even realize it till Kelly told me. To cut a long story short, I was rude, selfish and ignorant. And maybe I don't actually find her annoying, but because everyone else finds her annoying, I think that she's annoying too. Maybe she's actually alright, and she reminds me of myself in a way, how she can just talk about the most absurd things in the middle of Maths class. So I guess she's actually pretty fun to sit with, and I don't want to move places anymore, because I think this is going to be a great term. So from Monday on wards, I'm going to be slightly more mellowed down, and not get so agitated when she keeps borrowing my pencil. HAHA

I sense a great weekend ahead, and an even great Youth Day on Monday. 

The only things that can make me blow my top:

Maths.
The 3 printers in my house that works when everyone else uses it, except for me.
Having no mango/apple juice in the morning.
When my books get wet.
Miraculously shrinking by 2cm

Yup, that's how Term 3 started. Oh well, but the past 2 days have been pretty good. Everyone seems a lot happier and nicer this term. Shivani's pretty okay, when she's not arguing with anyone. And maybe being in the front again would do me some good.

"This was the first time in my life that so many things would never happen again"

Forgot to mention that Ice Skating @ Kallang with Gaby, Angela, Vidhya and Tricia on Wednesday was an improvement from the last time in P6 during Megan's birthday party. Didn't fall as many times so that's a good thing right? Spent the last 2 days mentally preparing myself for Term 3, by watching stupid vidoes on Youtube, reading, writing about things no one really cares about, and searching for pointless facts on Google. Oh, and I also found out, who I was name after.

Martin Leach (born 11 January 1959 in New Zealand), is a convicted rapist and double murderer, and has been described as one of, if not the Northern Territory's (Australia) worst killer.

On 20 June 1983, an eighteen year old local woman, Janice Carnegie, and her fifteen year old cousin, Charmaine Aviet, were swimming at a popular recreational waterhole at Berry Springs. Leach watched the girls for some time, before forcing them at knifepoint to accompany him to a nearby gully.

He stabbed Janice in the stomach when she attempted to reach for Leach's knife. Following the stabbing, he then raped her. He stabbed and killed Charmaine, then stabbed Janice in the neck; a pathologist testified it probably took her 5 to 10 minutes to die. Their naked bodies were later found bound and gagged in a shallow grave.

I think my dad told me about this when I was much younger, but it never occurred to me to go and Google it. She's apparently my dad's childhood friend, or something along those lines. I also realized why my dad doesn't allow me to go overseas with friends, when I asked for the sake of the future. 

Going back to Wednesday, Angela asked me why I created a blog, and come to think of it, my ridiculous response actually made sense. HAHA. 

" In case I get into a car accident, and lose my memory. Then I'll be able to read all my previous posts and gain some memory back, and know who were the ones who were close to me." 

Okay, maybe it doesn't make much sense. 

 It's been 4 days since I came back from my Confirmation camp. And so far, I haven't felt angry, frustrated, upset or annoyed. Haven't shouted at anyone, haven't used any profanities and haven't rolled my eyes at any of my family members. Such a big accomplishment aye? Anyways, camp was great. The food was great. The disgusting games were great.The people were great. The sessions&sharings were great. The long bathing times were great. Being prayed over was great. Receiving letters from my parents and being able to reconcile with them were great. The comfy mattresses were great. Having the guts after months to talk to C again. And well, experiencing God's love was more than great. I'm sure everyone enjoyed camp, and came out as a better person. It was nice to be in a bubble away from all the distractions for 4 days, and I would rather be in SFX than anywhere else right now. Now let's just hope this feeling will last when school starts. 

"You know, whenever anyone says something funny and I laugh, I always look around to see if you think it's funny too. Even when you're not there, I still look around."

-George (Grey's Anatomy)

CIP work attatchement at the Library was pretty fun yesterday, compared to Friday, where all we did was pack Quest cards. Learnt how to make flowers and parrots out of balloons, so maybe if everything else fails, I could go into a balloon sculpturing business right? Haha, probably not.
Went to my granparents house yesterday, and it was good to see everyone again. A lot happier this time.
Visited Krystle at KK with Ching Suen and Jane just now. Seeing all the tubes connected to her hands and neck, will definently put you on the brink of tears. I hope she's alright. She needs to be alright.
Had to leave early to attend my cousin's engagement ceremony. And frankly speaking, I don't see what's the problem with marrying someone of a different religion. So everyone should just keep your thoughts to yourself, and just be thankful that the both of them are happy together okay?
Spent the rest of the day catching up on all the episodes of Glee I've missed. And it's so hard to exclaim how adorable Harry Shum Jr. is with your mother sitting next to you, asking you the names of the entire cast.

4 days to Confirmation Camp.
14 days to the start of school.

Yes, of course it hurts. Very much actually.

But trust me, I've been through worse, so it's alright.

       It's only been 14 days. And I feel like I can't do this anymore.

"My days had a pleasant identicalness about them. I had always liked that: I liked routine. I liked being bored. I didn't want to but I did"

Other than not knowing if we should get down at Bayfront or Marina Bay station, The Harry Potter Exhibition with Angela, Gaby, Pei Shyuen, Vidhya, Francesca and Amanda was great fun. Everything looked so perfect and SEAN BIGGERSTAFF'S ROBE WAS THERE. The Merchandises were incredibly expensive though :'( $50 for a Gryffindor tshirt, Mhmmm... Going back on the 22nd, so hope I'll have enough money by then!
Just found out that Season 8 of HIMYM will only be released in September.
3. More. Months.
Oh and I almost forgot, GOOD LUCK CHING SUEN FOR YOUR PIANO EXAM TOMORROW! Make sure you play your scales properly and stay focus k! Try not to be too nervous, you're gonna do great! :)

1 week till Confirmation Camp.
1 week till being in the same group as Jared Tham for 4 days. Bummer.
1 week till I get to see D.
I'm more scared than excited. HAHAHA

The little voice in my head asked me today, "Are you happy now?"
And another little voice replied, "Yes I'm happy. Genuinely happy. But something's missing, someone's missing. I just don't quite know yet."

Had a great lunch with Officer Pinto before going to develop photos. 50cents a piece was pretty worth it because the quality was really good and the pictures turned out clearer than I thought it would've been. Haha, can't wait to make my album, so all the pamphlets I've been collecting would be put to good use. Classroom cleaning + Harry Potter Exhibition tomorrow! And now that the exams are over, and I'm back from Perth, there's no excuse to miss Taekwondo anymore. Just one more grading till I'll get my black, and 11 more till I'm done for good. Oh yay!

Frankly speaking, I don't understand how going to Perth was suppose to be an educational science trip. Haha, I hardly learnt anything related to science. Nontheless, it was by far one of the best holidays I've ever had.
And ofcourse, the main reason was because of the good company. Had the best roomates, who tolerated the weird noises I make at night, locking me out of the room, attempting to "kidnap" me, always waiting for me to finish breakfast before leaving the table, and making fun of every advertisment we watch on TV at night. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much. And right now, I'm pretty sure that I know who's going to stick around, when everybody else leaves.

I was very reluctant to come back to S'pore, because I knew that once I get back, all the negative thoughts would start to pollute my mind again, my insecurities will haunt me like it always did, and I will just have to keep telling myself "control yourself, just control yourself."
And sure enough, it happened.

What would I ever do without these guys?